Surviving the Timeshare Hellscape

I'm pretty determined to maximize my Marriot loyalty so I can nab that Lifetime Platinum status. And so far its paid off with a few international vacations funded by points. So when the "offer" came to try out a timeshare for about a third of the price of a similar accommodation in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (and getting 15k points in the process) I said, sure, why not?

Well, the sales pitch is as aggressive as anyone says, all 90 minutes of it IF you can escape when the clock times out. We ended up going about 15 minutes over and then stopping back over for a final offer before they sent us on our merry way. I will say that the salesperson was personable, knowledgeable, and reasonable - all traits of a successful marketer - and made a compelling argument. My counter argument was:

1) There was NO WAY we were going to commit to anything on our first timeshare pitch experience; this is partly anticipating that more timeshare pitch opportunities will come in more desirable locations. Plus, there are at least four other hotel megabrand managed timeshares so you can play the field a lot.

2) I wasn't keen out outlaying money now (sacrificing opportunity cost) for future vacations. I like to keep expenses low and rainy-day umbrellas high which is ultimately what I attribute my sense of financial security to. Vacations, as "essential" as we may feel they are would probably be the first thing on my belt tightening chopping block. And a local getaway camping generates a lot of relaxation utils without having to travel far or arrange accommodations.

There is probably a time and place for timeshares, although I'd want an easy exit strategy. If I was more serious about it, I'd come much more researched and get down to brass tacks at minute 0. I'd also have the number worked out to avoid financing or just have that fat stack ready to roll. If you are thinking of getting into it, I think the numbers are fairly standardized: about a week of lodging at regular places once a year costs about $20k to buy in and about $1500 a year in maintenance/management costs. The logic they offer is if you are going on week long vacations, in a 1 or 2 bedroom suite, between $2k and $5k, you'll be net positive at about year 6. And you get a bunch of extra blah blah which are probably harder to use than they describe (except maybe the ability to roll over two years worth of stay "shares" and pull a year forward for a mega vacation - 4 x the shares which gets you more time or more quality or both).

Here's the rub though - if you can vacay, in terms of lodging, for less than that maintenance cost, well, you'll never reach net positive. Plus, you are stuck in whatever that hotel's ecosystem is. It might not be bad (Marriot includes Westin and Sheraton resort properties and regular hotels) but it doesn't get you any closer to that weird, off-the-beaten path vision quest you heard about at the hair salon.

For that reason, we are out for now. As the opportunities to go on these marketing stays arise, I'd say we are game (even with my angsty toddler in tow). I believe that those willing to put in the planning and have the opportunity to liberally go on vacation could save some cash but having vacation as a ball and chain sounds like torture instead of pleasure.